At this stage in life — after more than seven decades of experiences, relationships, trials, and triumphs — I’ve learned one liberating truth:
You can’t control what others say, think, or do. And you don’t have to.
You just have to keep walking along your path, with quiet conviction.
A recent encounter with Mel Robbins’ book The Let Them Theory reminded me of this deep wisdom. Two words — “Let them” — simple yet profound, echoed much of what I’ve come to believe through a lifetime of learning.
Let them doubt.
Let them judge.
Let them leave.
Let them laugh.
And most importantly…
Let me live the way I choose.
Let me share a few personal stories — tender slices of life — that bring this idea to life.
Let Them Decide Differently. I Chose Peace.
Back in the early 1980s, when I was posted in a remote area in Bihar, presently Jharkhand, India, we had just moved into a modest Company quarter. The neighbors were skeptical about how our family would adjust — a Bengali family in a culturally different zone, with limited amenities and a harsh climate.
One senior colleague suggested, “You’ve made a mistake bringing your children here. This isn’t good for them.”
I remember feeling torn — as a father, I wanted to do what was best. But deep down, I knew we had made our decision mindfully. I smiled and said,
“Let’s see how it goes.”
Years later, my daughter would recall those years as the most vibrant and formative of her childhood.
We grew closer. We grew stronger.
Let them question.
Let me trust my roots.
Let Them Underestimate. I’ll Persevere.
When I decided to pursue my doctoral studies in my fifties, many thought I was chasing something unnecessary — “You already have a good job,” they said.
“Why stress yourself at this age?”
But I felt an inner pull. I wasn’t chasing degrees. I was chasing understanding.
There were moments of exhaustion — long nights, tight deadlines, young classmates zooming past. But I carried on, quietly. When the degree was finally conferred, I didn’t boast. I simply looked at my reflection in the mirror and said,
“You did it.”
Let them doubt.
Let me do what gives my life meaning. I was happy to encounter one of girlfriend, my classmate at school, who very curiously asked how could I qualify for Ph.D. and that also from IIT Kharagpur, the top-notch Institute, across the world.
Let Them Laugh. I’ll Keep Walking.
Just last year, I went to a park wearing an old wool sweater I’ve had since my teaching days — threadbare but warm, a companion of many winters. A group of young joggers chuckled behind me.
For a moment, I felt that familiar twinge — the one we all feel when others judge us. But then I smiled and remembered how many winters this sweater had warmed me, how many early morning lectures I had walked through in it.
It wasn’t fashion. It was history. It was love stitched into fabric.
Let them laugh.
Let me wear memories.
What Mel Robbins Taught Me — Again
Listening to Mel Robbins’ The Let Them Theory felt like someone younger putting into words what I’ve lived. Her approach is fresh, fearless, and backed by science — and yet it honors ancient wisdom.
She reminded me that we don’t need to fight every battle. We don’t have to defend our choices, fix everyone’s discomfort, or sacrifice our peace for someone else’s comfort.
If someone tells me bad, how can I be bad when I know I am not bad.
We just need to choose, breathe, and walk forward.
Let them stay behind, if they must.
A Lesson from the Long Road
I have learned — and am still learning — that peace is not something you earn by proving yourself.
It comes when you stop performing and start being.
Let people take their time to understand you. Or not.
Let some relationships fade.
Let some opportunities go.
But never let go of your integrity, your laughter, your stories, your walk, your sweater — the parts that make you whole.
Let them go their way.
Let you be you.
Final Reflection
As someone who has lived through wars, technological shifts, cultural changes, and countless personal transitions, let me tell you this:
You’ll never regret choosing peace over approval.
So when others question your way, doubt your dreams, or criticize your calm —
Smile. Pause. And whisper to yourself:
Let them.
Then softly say,
Let me…
…remember my worth.
…cherish my life.
…honor my choices.
…keep telling my story.
And that, dear reader, is more than enough.
To learn more, read my book:
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Cheers!
Be Happy Be You!